Stagewear: Is it too much to ask?

[johnreardon]

I've been playing since the early 60s and as band leader have never told the others what to wear, it's up to them, we are not children.

In that time we have played the occasional wedding and formal events, event though we were not really that type of band. Even played a military mess dinner/dance.

People that booked us usually knew what to expect. They wanted us for what we played, not how we dressed. If they didn't like us, they wouldn't book us again.

Can you imagine Keith Richards telling Jagger what to wear?

Seriously if it worries you, then join another band

This is how we looked in 66

Us in 2018

 

[chazmo]

Lookin' good, John!

 

[HeyMikey]

Coordinated color costume changes for each set or get out of town! Amateurs.

 

[FNG]

I'd say by looking at how some of the attendees were dressed, it wasn’t a big deal.

It's not the Catalina Wine Mixer!

 

[johnreardon]

I'd say by looking at how some of the attendees were dressed, it wasn’t a big deal.

It's not the Catalina Wine Mixer!

These days people attending funerals are often casually dressed, so agree, it's not a big deal. I would be more interested in how the band played together.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Wow, so unlike any wedding reception I ever played over the years. We always dressed up in suits, or at the most casual, black pants and shirts. I guess if the bride and groom, their families and guests were happy. no harm done. But I'll tell ya, a band dressing like a biker at a wedding (unless it was a biker wedding), would never work here in NJ. At least not the weddings I've attended or played at. No way.

Yeah, like I say, moving to Maine was kind of a shock to my system. Love it here, but there are a few native ways I'm still not used to.

 

[silverfox103]

Charlie, I get what you're saying. But, and I mean this in a good way, you are in Maine and stuff like that happens and accepted.

Tom

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I'd rather not attend weddings.

I love 'em. Food, booze, dancing, old friends. Lemme know if you ever want a stand-in. I can stunt-double for the best of 'em.

Because of the dress code.(And the whole concept, but that's another story...)
Yes , even in France, some call it Le dress-code...."We're having a dinner-Aperitivo...Le dress-code is Nebuchadnezzar- in-leather

I don't even know what that's supposed to mean!

...Only passion-fruit-sparkling-wine...Would you come?"...
Takes me back to my childhood, I had a vast quantity of older cousins who apparently could'nt wait to get married every other week-end,

Every other weekend? I only got married once. Sounds like fun, but I don't think I could get that many women to say yes.

so my Mum would lasso me down , currycomb me, cramp me in a stupid-looking grey vest with pants too short, spray my hair with goo, eau-de-cologne,white shirt, tie,cufflinks ! all the stuffs, so I would look good!....(And not "be a shame for the family"!)-
"Meet Valerie, your plus-one for the wedding!" Oh no, she's dressed in candy floss!!!! Is there a place where I can hide!!!
-A member of the band I play with once insisted that we had to wear a white shirt at our gig, to "show respect to the public"...(I thought it showed primarily in playing the right chords where they're supposed to be, and I certainly wish the public showed respect to us, since we played for free!) I had to buy a white shirt. Fortunately, he did'nt mention ponytail and silky waist-coat .Le dress-code! . . .

In our case, I doubt white tee-shirts would have been a a big improvement.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Charlie, I get what you're saying. But, and I mean this in a good way, you are in Maine and stuff like that happens and accepted.

Tom

Yup, I am and it is. I know we didn't raise any eyebrows. I just don't like going on stage looking like I'm about to do some sheet-rocking!

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

These days people attending funerals are often casually dressed, so agree, it's not a big deal. I would be more interested in how the band played together.

Yup. I went to a memorial service here once where half the guys were wearing Hawaiian shirts.

 

[Guildedagain]

Dress and destiny must be inextricably linked.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Usually it's the responsibility of the person booking to ask what attire is desired. If not indicated, then common sense should prevail.

Words to live by. Thanks!

 

[Opsimath]

Dress code is way different than it used to be. In the 90's I attended an outdoor wedding, reception followed in a very nice barn remodeled as a venue; it was really beautifully done and quite impressive. Bride and groom in gown and tux, wedding party and parents' attire similar.

Guests were all over the map. Some dressed for the occasion, many were nicely casual and others a bit more casual. One gal was in shorts and a halter top. I was rather appalled, but expectancies for dress have changed (deteriotated?) greatly in the past few decades.

At least no one came in pajamas.

 

[fronobulax]

Ignoring the specificity of the wedding event, "dress code" and "common sense" (with regard to appropriate clothing) are no longer the universal concepts they once were. It tends to splinter along generational and economic lines. I note that the vast majority of people who commented about inappropriateness and about whom I have a reasonable guess as to their age, are over 60. While some of that is LTG demographics this also seems like one of those things that the younger you are, the less it is important to you.

 

[Westerly Wood]

I played a wedding once....once.
With my rock band when living in Madison, WI.
It was a disaster. And all our fault. Here were the mistakes I learned never to do again:

1. Never play a wedding of one of band member's relations. Ever.
2. If you think you are too loud, you are even louder to the audience.
3. When people start to get up and leave, just apologize, wish the bride/groom well, and humbly start to move your equipment to your car.
4. Do #3 as fast as humanly possible
5. When the band member has an emotional breakdown due to poor showing at sister's wedding, just walk away.

 

[Opsimath]

I don't know if it's true or not, but I read somewhere that Mick Jagger offered to have his band play at his daughter's wedding.

She declined.

 

[Westerly Wood]

I don't know if it's true or not, but I read somewhere that Mick Jagger offered to have his band play at his daughter's wedding.

She declined.

well, yeah cause then she would have to deal with her daddy's voice and then share that with her extended family and friends...

 

[Teleguy61]

Club dates=jeans.
Private gig=dress pants.
Shirt style per leader, jacket and tie minimum for a wedding.
Or--
$50-100=jeans.
Over $100=dress pants.

 

[Boneman]

I think the fact it is his neighbors wedding in the backyard, it doesn’t call for over thinking their attire. I went to a casual back yard wedding and the band they had was a rock band, dressed very similar. As a guest, I didn’t even think about how they were dressed, they looked normal and sounded good, was all I cared about. If they’re a big band or jazz band, in a church setting they might look out of place, but they look the part for this occasion so I see nothing wrong. If it was a church wedding, maybe dress up, but for backyard casual we’re keeping our costs down wedding, I say wear whatever(guests and band). Here’s the band I witnessed, they look the same as your buddies and I don’t think it bothered anyone there:

 

[RBSinTo]

The wedding attendees look pretty casual. So if those folks as pictured were just at the wedding my eyebrows would not be raised. So the question becomes - should the band be better dressed than the audience?

I'm going to throw this back on the band leader or whoever booked the gig. If appearance mattered then the leader failed to communicate that. The assumption that everyone in the band knew what was appropriate is clearly incorrect.

I will also note that they look pretty presentable compared to some of the people mowing lawns in my neighborhood.

They weren't hired to mow lawns, so I fail to see how this is a valid comparison.
RBSinTo