Stagewear: Is it too much to ask?

[Charlie Bernstein]

Opinions, please!

Played a wedding yesterday. Had a great time. But one things really bugs me about my new band. They always dress like they're about to mow the lawn. How weird am I for wanting to look good for an audience?

The keyboardist actually tries to be presentable. The other two don't. Here they are, singer/guitarist on the left and bassist on the right (both in black sneakers, I guess because it's a wedding):

 

[GGJaguar]

For playing in a bar, I guess that would be okay (depending on the bar), but for a wedding... no way. Not even if it was a casual wedding. I mean, tuxedos are not required, but the biker look at a wedding? No.

 

[dreadnut]

Hey, that guy looks like me!

 

[Uke]

Looks a bit like the Hell's Angels getting ready to provide security for the Stones.

 

[jp]

I think it depends on what kind of band you're trying to be.

When I became an alternate to start gigging regularly with some jazzbo friends who were working pros, one of the first things they asked me was whether or not I owned a tux. For that level, appropriate dress was required, or I was off the call list.

This meant I'd play an art opening one night (all black casual), play with an R&B band at a club the next (jeans or whatever), and then a fancy country club wedding jazz gig the next morning (black tie/tails/tux).

 

[Midnight Toker]

I agree Charlie. It's ok for a dive bar, but absolutely not for a wedding. That's someone else's day. By no means saying full on formal, but even for a casual outdoor wedding, being part of the hired entertainment, at least come presentable. Even sandals w/ khakis and a short sleeve button up print shirt would do just fine. Just basic clean comfortable casual attire. Not too much to ask. If the wedding were in Sturgis, that I could understand.

 

[walrus]

Agree with the comments so far - that's not appropriate for a wedding...

walrus

 

[RBSinTo]

One's dress should be appropriate for the venue and occasion being played.
If you can't get a consensus on band rules and regs. that satisfy you, then perhaps you should form or join a different band.
RBSinTo

 

[twocorgis]

When I was in a wedding band way back when we wore tuxedoes every time out. I don't think that's necessary anymore, but agree that clean casual is the bare minimum.

 

[fronobulax]

The wedding attendees look pretty casual. So if those folks as pictured were just at the wedding my eyebrows would not be raised. So the question becomes - should the band be better dressed than the audience?

I'm going to throw this back on the band leader or whoever booked the gig. If appearance mattered then the leader failed to communicate that. The assumption that everyone in the band knew what was appropriate is clearly incorrect.

I will also note that they look pretty presentable compared to some of the people mowing lawns in my neighborhood.

 

[DrumBob]

They look like bikers, and it's totally inappropriate for a wedding gig. Was there any blowback from the bride and groom, or their families?

I don't know if you are in a position to be vocal about the way they dress or not, but you're the best judge of that.

If it was me, I'd say something. Did you make any concessions playing specified music, or was it a free-for-all rock reception? Was the type of band dress specified?

 

[Midnight Toker]

I will also note that they look pretty presentable compared to some of the people mowing lawns in my neighborhood.

Way to set the bar at your ankles!

I do agree though, whoever booked the gig needs to be clear about it ahead of time.

But still, I don't care if it's a barn wedding in a WV holler, I'm still coming in better than that! Just the word wedding typically involves a damn ironing board somewhere in the equation!

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

The wedding attendees look pretty casual. So if those folks as pictured were just at the wedding my eyebrows would not be raised. So the question becomes - should the band be better dressed than the audience?

I'm going to throw this back on the band leader or whoever booked the gig. If appearance mattered then the leader failed to communicate that. The assumption that everyone in the band knew what was appropriate is clearly incorrect.

I will also note that they look pretty presentable compared to some of the people mowing lawns in my neighborhood.

As I said, the band leader is the one on the left. It's his neighbors' wedding.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

They look like bikers, and it's totally inappropriate for a wedding gig. Was there any blowback from the bride and groom, or their families?

I don't know if you are in a position to be vocal about the way they dress or not, but you're the best judge of that.

If it was me, I'd say something. Did you make any concessions playing specified music, or was it a free-for-all rock reception? Was the type of band dress specified?

The bride and groom were perfectly happy. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who thought it was weird. As far as sartorial etiquette goes, Maine is the most casual place I've ever lived. Jeans, sneakers, and tee-shirts at weddings aren't uncommon.

See the stage on the right and the ceremony seating in the background? The groom built them all out of skids.

I don't plan to be vocal, just set a better example. I'll talk with the keyboard guy, though, to see what he thinks.

There were no concessions, there was no specified music, and no costume was specified.

 

[davismanLV]

Okay ... what happens at a wedding needs to be pre-arranged. Meet up or communicate... was this how y'all always played, dressed like that? Then you need to communicate to your people. Yes it's inappropriate, but was the info communicated to the band before? "Dude we're playing at a effin wedding!!" Or what? I'd have them at MY wedding, but ....

 

[jp]

Usually it's the responsibility of the person booking to ask what attire is desired. If not indicated, then common sense should prevail.

 

[DrumBob]

The bride and groom were perfectly happy. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who thought it was weird. As far as sartorial etiquette goes, Maine is the most casual place I've ever lived. Jeans, sneakers, and tee-shirts at weddings aren't uncommon.

See the stage on the right and the ceremony seating in the background? The groom built them all out of skids.

I don't plan to be vocal, just set a better example. I'll talk with the keyboard guy, though, to see what he thinks.

There were no concessions, there was no specified music, and no costume was specified.

Wow, so unlike any wedding reception I ever played over the years. We always dressed up in suits, or at the most casual, black pants and shirts. I guess if the bride and groom, their families and guests were happy. no harm done. But I'll tell ya, a band dressing like a biker at a wedding (unless it was a biker wedding), would never work here in NJ. At least not the weddings I've attended or played at. No way.

 

[LeFinPepere]

I'd rather not attend weddings.
Because of the dress code.(And the whole concept, but that's another story...)
Yes , even in France, some call it Le dress-code...."We're having a dinner-Aperitivo...Le dress-code is Nebuchadnezzar- in-leather ...Only passion-fruit-sparkling-wine...Would you come?"...
Takes me back to my childhood, I had a vast quantity of older cousins who apparently could'nt wait to get married every other week-end, so my Mum would lasso me down , currycomb me, cramp me in a stupid-looking grey vest with pants too short, spray my hair with goo, eau-de-cologne,white shirt, tie,cufflinks ! all the stuffs, so I would look good!....(And not "be a shame for the family"!)-
"Meet Valerie, your plus-one for the wedding!" Oh no, she's dressed in candy floss!!!! Is there a place where I can hide!!!
-A member of the band I play with once insisted that we had to wear a white shirt at our gig, to "show respect to the public"...(I thought it showed primarily in playing the right chords where they're supposed to be, and I certainly wish the public showed respect to us, since we played for free!) I had to buy a white shirt. Fortunately, he did'nt mention ponytail and silky waist-coat .Le dress-code!
-Bikers with Biker-uniforms?Awggg!Same beard, same tattoo,same Skynyrd T-shirt, same Electra-Glide , "Born to be wild",huh?
-Since we play mostly Blues, every body thinks he has to wear a Dan Aykroyd pork-pie hat and wayfarers! (But still not have a clue what I-IV-V is about!) ...
Sorry , Folks, the word " wedding" seems to stir up my grumpiness..
.
Weather's fine today, not too hot, think I'll go water the garden and pick up some dog-doo from the charred lawn...Maybe indulge in a little rain-dance......

-Imagine Woodstock-chant today:"More rain!More rain!"
-Imagine explaining "Muddy Waters" 25 years from now......("You mean, there was water in the Mississippi? Gee!!)
-Going back to the topic here: when I get paid, I'll dress anyway you want!

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Okay ... what happens at a wedding needs to be pre-arranged.

I brought it up at the last practice but wasn't direct enough. I said, "How should we dress for this?" The band leader said, "Black shirts."

I should have pushed it a little more.

Meet up or communicate... was this how y'all always played, dressed like that?

I don't dress like that (even to mow the lawn), but they do. Like I said, this is Maine.

Then you need to communicate to your people.

I probably won't push it much for this group. It's a just-for-fun band. Those guys seem to think it might go somewhere, but I don't.

Yes it's inappropriate, but was the info communicated to the band before?

See above.

"Dude we're playing at a effin wedding!!"

You're absolutely right. Should've pushed the issue. Wondered whether you folks would agree.

Or what? I'd have them at MY wedding, but ....

We're on our way!

 

[cupric]

I agree that this isn't a regular look for a wedding. Business casual would work. But I wouldn't push it if you enjoy playing with these guys. Take care of yourself and hope it catches on.