QI knowledge

[AcornHouse]

Some nurse humor from Jimmy Carr and Jo Brand on QI series K


A nurse found a rectal thermometer in her pocket and said “Oh no, some a#@$ole’s got my pen!”


A nurse comes running in and says to the Matron “Oh dear, I think I’ve gotten something the wrong way ‘round. You asked me to prick someone’s boil.”


What’s the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer?
The taste

 

[davismanLV]

YIKES!!! LMAO!!!!

 

[walrus]

Great, more stuff to worry about if I'm back in the hospital...

walrus

 

[JerryR]

Suits my sense of humor

 

[dreadnut]

Old boy says "Doc, I can't hear squat out of my right ear!"

Doc says "Well no wonder!" and pulls a suppository out of his ear.

Old boy says "Well, I bet I know where my hearing aid is now~!"

 

[The Guilds of Grot]

A runs into the psychiatrist office and starts babbling; "Wigwam, teepee, wigwam. teepee! The Doctor says; "calm down and try to relax, you're too tense!"

 

[Guildedagain]

To get pretty nurse, one must be patient ;-)

 

[adorshki]

Gynecologist to patient's spouse:
"By golly you're right, it does look like an Edsel!"

 

[F312]

Refresher; Why did the doctor use two fingers for a prostate exam?

He wanted to get a second opinion.

Ralph

 

[adorshki]

Proctologist to nurse: "I need a light"
Nurse hands him a can of Miller.
"No, nurse! I meant a Butt light!"

 

[JerryR]

A runs into the psychiatrist office and starts babbling; "Wigwam, teepee, wigwam. teepee! The Doctor says; "calm down and try to relax, you're too tense!"

"Doctor doctor, I think I'm a pair of drapes!"

"Aw, pull yourself together!"