Finnish sense of humor

Nuuska

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Greetings

FINGERPORI is popular odd-humor strip that is published in many newspapers. No walk of life or side alley is left alone...

The banner in picture has text " Bodybuilding festival"


 

Nuuska

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Okay - so I give you two more



Man is at research centre - they show prototype of new car - staff person says : "This one has automatic emergency brake and it recognizes pedestrians!" - Customer says "Vau" ( Finnish is phonetic language - so it is "wow" in English...)

Second frame - car says : "That was Esko Makkonen"








The little angel asks : " Boss, should I make this book realistic or should I write that on seventh day you rested?"



 
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rampside

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Greetings

FINGERPORI is popular odd-humor strip that is published in many newspapers. No walk of life or side alley is left alone...

The banner in picture has text " Bodybuilding festival"



Eez dat Frankenstienonen?
 

Nuuska

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Time for next one




LAPSENVAHTINA = babysitting

ÄLÄ JÄTÄ LASTA YKSIN KUUMAAN AUTOON = do not leave a child alone in hot car

MISTÄ MINÄ LÖYDÄN SILLE KAVERIN? = Where do I find a friend for him?
 

GuildFS4612CE

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These are great Nuuska...thanks for taking the time to share them with us...and translate, where needed.

The 'market' one is great...no translation necessary...and in the style of the Quebecois 'play on words' visual humour, as well, for our neighbours north of the border.

Only goes to show that we are far more alike than different. :watermelon:
 

Nuuska

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Back again - found this in "usual source" - I was on a finnish website reading jokes, and there were some in english - thought to share them, in case you never heard them before.



[FONT=&quot]How many Finns does it take to change a light bulb?[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink enough Kossu (vodka) until the room starts spinning.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]OR[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot](based on the fact that 'all' Finns are engineers) None. They fix the old one.


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Drinking[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Sakke and Ville are sitting in a cottage in the middle of nowhere. They've been drinking for three days straight and they finally run out of booze.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Sakke says to his mate "Hey, go and look in the tool shed and see if there's anything to drink there."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Ville comes back with a bottle of methanol, and says "We could drink this, but we'll go blind!"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Sakke slowly looks around the cottage and out the window, and says "I think we've seen enough."


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Small talk[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot](N.B. Finland, with its extremely high level of education, never ceases to amaze me - have you ever met a Finn who can count to one?!)[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mika and Peppe hadn't seen each other for ages, so they decided to get together for "one" beer. At the end of the first pint Peppe says "How have you been?" Mika just grunts in reply.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]At the end of the second pint Peppe asks "So how's your family?" Again, Mika just grunts in reply.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]After three pints Peppe asks "How's work going?" Mika suddenly stands up and shouts[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"P*rkele! Did we come here to talk or drink?!"[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]The Moon[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Why are there no Finns on the moon?[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]They went, but there was no wood.


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Finnish soldier[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]A young female reporter from a British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about Finnish soldiers returning from the Winter War. Interviewing one infantry-man, Jussi, she asked[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing you did?"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"I screwed my wife," Jussi replied bluntly.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The journalist went red, and tried to change the subject.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"I screwed her again," he answered.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The journalist turned an even darker shade of red.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"Other than that! Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"I took off my skis and had a beer."


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Finnish weather explained[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]+15°C / 59°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]People in Spain wears winter-coats and gloves.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]+10°C / 50°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]+5°C / 41°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Italian cars won't start.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]0°C / 32°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Distilled water freezes.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The water in the Vanda river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-5°C / 23°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]People in California almost freeze to death.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-10°C / 14°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Brits start the heat in their houses.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns start using long sleeves.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-20°C / -4°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Aussies flee from Mallorca.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-30°C / -22°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-40°C / -40°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Paris start cracking in the cold.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns stand in line at the "grilli-kioski".[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-50°C / -58°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-60°C / -76°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-70°C / -94°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The false Santa moves south.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-183°C / -297.4°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Microbes in food don't survive.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-273°C / -459.4°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]All atom-based movent halts.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Finns start saying "P*rkele, it's cold outside today."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]-300°C / -508°F[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Hell freezes over.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.




[/FONT]
 

Nuuska

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[FONT=&quot]And in good Scandinavian spirit two swedish jokes . . .


[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Construction workers[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Three construction workers, an Australian, a Finn and a Swede, are sitting on a beam on the tenth floor about to have their lunch.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Australian opens his lunch box and says "Bloody hell - meat pies again! Every day it's bloody meat pies! If I get meat pies again tomorrow, I'm going to jump!"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Finn opens up his lunch next. "S**tana! Makkara (sausage) again! Always sausages! If I get sausage tomorrow, I'm gonna jump too!"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Swede is the last to open up his lunch. "Ah crap - meatballs again! Why always meatballs? If I get meatballs tomorrow, I'm going to jump too!"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The next day the Aussie opens his lunch box and it's a meat pie... He jumps to his death.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Finn opens his lunch box and, yes, it's a sausage. He too jumps to his death.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Swede opens his lunch and sadly there's a pile of meatballs, so he jumps too.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The three widows of the construction workers are talking at the funeral and the Aussie's wife says "I don't understand. I thought my husband loved meat pies! If he didn't want them he should have said something!"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Finnish widow says "Same here - I thought my husband wanted sausages! Why didn't he say something?"[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Swede's widow says, "I don't get it... my husband made his own lunch."[/FONT]



[FONT=&quot]Technology[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]An American, a Finn and a Swede are in the sauna together. Suddenly there is a "beep beep" sound, and the American starts to look at the palm of his hand.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"What are you doing?" asks the Finn. The American replies[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"This is the latest Motorola technology. I've got my pager embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Then the familiar old Nokia ring tone is heard, and the Finn starts looking at the palm of his hand.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"What are you doing?" ask the other guys. The Finn replies[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"This is the latest Nokia technology. I've got my mobile phone embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]The Swede thinks to himself that he'd better not be outdone by these guys, so he leaves the sauna. In a couple of minutes he returns, and there is toilet paper hanging out of his bum![/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"What the hell is that??" shout the other guys in unison.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]"I'm getting a fax." says the Swede.[/FONT]
 

Nuuska

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[FONT=&quot]After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, Swedish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Not to be outdone by the Swedes, in the weeks that followed, Norwegian scientists dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in their newspapers read; Norwegian archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Swedes. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]One week later, Finnish newspapers reported the following: After digging as deep as 5000 meters, Finnish scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Finland's inhabitants were already using wireless technology.[/FONT]
 

fronobulax

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Thank you. I especially appreciate the comments about Finnish culture.
 

geoguy

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Good stuff, Nuuska . . . I shall not complain about today's cool, damp weather here in New England. :friendly_wink:
 
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