A band's bass player and guitar player got into a fight...

Janeiac

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... the lead singer broke it up, and asked what the problem was. The bass player complained, "he twisted one of the pegs on my bass and threw it out of tune!"
"Big deal," said the singer, "simply retune it."
"I would, but he won't tell me which one he moved," replied the bass player.
 

gilded

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I just sent that to my bass player. I'll let you guys know how it goes......... :)
 

The Guilds of Grot

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Apparently you don't know to many bass players!

As a bassist I've never met any other bassist like that. Most I know are very meticulous people. However I have met a few guitarist that not only couldn't tune properly, they didn't even care!
 

fronobulax

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But it was in tune when I left the store!
 

JimmyD

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A guitar player can lay down a bunch of clams over the course of an evening, but with bending, sliding etc. he can gloss over it. A bass player hits the wrong note......everyone knows about it.
 

strummer

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This reminded me of a bass player I played with many moons ago.He had the dancing -on-stage-too-many-shots thing down perfectly but was a fairly ****ty musician.Many times upon hitting the chorus or a place where there were vocal harmonies he would issue forth a brutal clam on the bass and as soon as he realized what he'd done would shoot an accusatory look over at one of us who was singing.Got away with it every time!He was shocked and resentful when kicked out,of course.Memories...
 

fronobulax

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Not that you would ever catch me saying anything nice about the Guild Humbuckers on the JS II but in the decade before I got the Starfire I would gladly turn up the bass and kill the treble on the air mover (my days of 300 watts RMS into 2x15 are long past) dial down the treble on the pickup, engage the suck switch and the result was so muddy no one had any idea what pitch I played. No clams here but I had to be in the drummer's groove or else.
 

Opsimath

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Okay, I don't know squat about playing bass, remember - just an acoustic student, but I have noticed that bass players are the butt of a lot of jokes, which I mentioned to my guitar teacher. He said that in most cases the bass player is actually the most musically intelligent member of the band, and they have to be to stay on track and make the band sound good.

No, he does not play bass. He plays guitar, piano, and drums/percussion. And he's a sound engineer.

Just thought I'd throw that out there for all you good natured bass players. Not everyone underappreciates you!

Cynthia
 

griehund

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I remember this one time I thought I was wrong, but I was wrong. :wink:
 

fronobulax

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At some point a musician will have a collection of jokes that either can be told about almost any instrument or that are funny because of a stereotype of a particular instrument or player. It is easier to laugh than to get mad. The folks at Alembic, who could be credited with creating the first high quality bass guitar allegedly did so because the bass player is usually the worst guitarist in the band and consequently got no respect.

And then...

How do you get an electric guitarist to play softly?
Put some sheet music in front of them.

And a variation on one I have told on LTG before:

...the one about the guy on Safari, who when travelling through the jungle hears some incredible drumming coming from a distance. The following conversation ensues with his local guide:

Guy: Wow! That's amazing -- let's see if we find it!
Guide: No! We must go now -- when drums stop, big trouble!
Guy: But the drumming sounds amazing, I really want to check it out
Guide: No -- we must go, when drums stop, big trouble!
Guy: But this is the kind of thing I came here to experience! I really want to hear it!
Guide: No! We must go before drums stop!
Guy: But why? What happens when the drums stop?
Guide: Bass solo!!
 

walrus

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I don't recall hearing that Safari joke before - love it!

walrus
 

Opsimath

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The safari joke is funny, but I liked the sheet music joke better! By the way the sheet music trick will work on at least one acoustic student that I know of, and that would be me! Still funny!

C.
 

davismanLV

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The other obvious target is banjo players. Although, I really love banjo. But you can take this joke and sub bass player or pretty much any instrument you like. But I only have the banjo version.

 

Opsimath

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I've got a banjo joke, told by a banjo player.

A banjo player went into a store, but left his banjo in his car. When he came back he was horrified to see that his car had been broken into. There were two more banjos left in it.
 

adorshki

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Apparently you don't know to many bass players!
As a bassist I've never met any other bassist like that. Most I know are very meticulous people. However I have met a few guitarist that not only couldn't tune properly, they didn't even care!
Just because it seems to fit with the general thrust of the thread, this reminded me of an anecdote told by Hendrix's roady about his routine in selecting a wahwah pedal for the night.
He'd go through 3 or 4 of 'em, complaining each one was somehow "off", until the roady'd bring the first one back out, at which point he'd say "AH! That's the one!"
 

fronobulax

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As long as we're talking Hendrix and bass...

An interview with Chris Squire said:
When we got down there we unloaded our equipment out of the van and there was this band rehearsing on the stage, and the bass player was trying to learn the riff to what we later knew would be "Purple Haze". And being an English rock musician this was one of my very early encounters of actually--apart from Muddy Waters and things like that, I'd never really met any black players in rock 'n' roll so it was quite a novelty watching this band rehearsing, and also it was kind of frustrating because the bass player didn't seem to be able to learn to play the riff very well, and I kept thinking I'd go and grab the bass and show him exactly what the notes were that the black guy was telling him, how he could do it. That was Noel Redding, of course; not the greatest bass player of all time.
http://nfte.org/interviews/cs200.html
 

walrus

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That is a very entertaining interview, frono! Thanks!

walrus
 

Guildedagain

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A lot of truth and laughs on this thread.

Of course the banjo jokes are the funniest since i don't play the banjo, under orders not to from she who must...

I play guitar, bass, keys a little, and drum, and it feels like drummers haven't been fairly represented yet ;-)


Per my old drummer way back in the 80's, "Skull";

"What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer."




To be honest, I prefer playing bass in a band, you can see it get people moving ;-)
 
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