acmedrygoods
Junior Member
Not sure how long this will be up but it made me laugh. Best guitar ad copy so far this year. And... he is basically right about the Guild S-60.
Guild S-60D to rule the world
- Thread starter acmedrygoods
- Start date
GGJaguar
Reverential Member
So it's not lost forever:
This early 80’s Guild is the stuff dreams are made of, if your dreams include dumping excessive amounts of face melters on your audience while looking like a absolute snack of a berserker. This guitar is made to play great and look great, so don’t kid yourself if you think you’ll grab this beast and go unnoticed.
It’s all mahogany. The kind of mahogany that you can’t get anymore. The kind sourced from an ancient tree that was saturated with the howls of forest demons and forbidden Druid chants. You will hear these every time you dare to strum or pick this powerful scepter of musical magic.
As an emergency measure, the volume pot is a push-pull coil tap, in case you can’t handle the forge-hot neck pickup. I have no idea what it is, perhaps a Duncan? DiMarzio? Beelzebub? The bridge is a very hot Duncan…the neck screams by comparison. The tone of the neck and bridge is lush, balanced, and articulate with well-defined lows and spectacular highs that rise up like a screaming phoenix out of the boiling volcano that is this Guild masterpiece.
The neck feels somewhere in between a Gibson slim-taper and the silky locks of Thor the god of thunder. The 24 fret neck is highly addictive and more or less plays itself. Basically, you hold on for dear life while the Guild guides your hands and fingers as if in a trance of supreme musical perfection.
The headstock was meticulously snapped off the neck at some point. I assume while being used to cleave Pangea into the separate continents. It was beautifully repaired to where the break is imperceivable to the touch but still shows like a devastatingly cool battle scar. It absolutely looks 500% better than a neck that hasn’t been broken. Everyone knows a snapped headstock improves tone, that’s why so many people do this mod to their Les Pauls. Broken headstocks also improve overall playability and musical skill. It’s the easiest way to get pro tone and technique.
What else? The action is great and easy to play. The thing just looks so awesome. It’s a battle axe. There’s no question it’s one of the coolest looking guitars ever made. It will get you noticed and people will instantly respect you. It’s a very unique vintage instrument that’s been modified in just the right way. It makes other guitarists jealous, and everyone knows that’s like 80% of why people play guitar anyway.
Sadly, I can’t keep it as I’m scared of it. I don’t want to travel the world playing to large crowds of adoring fans. I am not interested in excessive fame and/or effortless success. It’s just not the guitar for me, perhaps you’re looking for that stuff and have enough courage to let the Guild straddle your body as you ascend to untold heights of guitar-godliness.
Doesn’t come with case.
This early 80’s Guild is the stuff dreams are made of, if your dreams include dumping excessive amounts of face melters on your audience while looking like a absolute snack of a berserker. This guitar is made to play great and look great, so don’t kid yourself if you think you’ll grab this beast and go unnoticed.
It’s all mahogany. The kind of mahogany that you can’t get anymore. The kind sourced from an ancient tree that was saturated with the howls of forest demons and forbidden Druid chants. You will hear these every time you dare to strum or pick this powerful scepter of musical magic.
As an emergency measure, the volume pot is a push-pull coil tap, in case you can’t handle the forge-hot neck pickup. I have no idea what it is, perhaps a Duncan? DiMarzio? Beelzebub? The bridge is a very hot Duncan…the neck screams by comparison. The tone of the neck and bridge is lush, balanced, and articulate with well-defined lows and spectacular highs that rise up like a screaming phoenix out of the boiling volcano that is this Guild masterpiece.
The neck feels somewhere in between a Gibson slim-taper and the silky locks of Thor the god of thunder. The 24 fret neck is highly addictive and more or less plays itself. Basically, you hold on for dear life while the Guild guides your hands and fingers as if in a trance of supreme musical perfection.
The headstock was meticulously snapped off the neck at some point. I assume while being used to cleave Pangea into the separate continents. It was beautifully repaired to where the break is imperceivable to the touch but still shows like a devastatingly cool battle scar. It absolutely looks 500% better than a neck that hasn’t been broken. Everyone knows a snapped headstock improves tone, that’s why so many people do this mod to their Les Pauls. Broken headstocks also improve overall playability and musical skill. It’s the easiest way to get pro tone and technique.
What else? The action is great and easy to play. The thing just looks so awesome. It’s a battle axe. There’s no question it’s one of the coolest looking guitars ever made. It will get you noticed and people will instantly respect you. It’s a very unique vintage instrument that’s been modified in just the right way. It makes other guitarists jealous, and everyone knows that’s like 80% of why people play guitar anyway.
Sadly, I can’t keep it as I’m scared of it. I don’t want to travel the world playing to large crowds of adoring fans. I am not interested in excessive fame and/or effortless success. It’s just not the guitar for me, perhaps you’re looking for that stuff and have enough courage to let the Guild straddle your body as you ascend to untold heights of guitar-godliness.
Doesn’t come with case.
Marketing 101!
walrus
walrus
geoguy
Senior Member
As an earth-science guy, that seller gets extra credit from me for his plate-tectonics reference (cleaving Pangea into separate continents). 
acmedrygoods
Junior Member
Thanks for doing the copy/paste which I should have done in the first placeSo it's not lost forever:
This early 80’s Guild is the stuff dreams are made of, if your dreams include dumping excessive amounts of face melters on your audience while looking like a absolute snack of a berserker. This guitar is made to play great and look great, so don’t kid yourself if you think you’ll grab this beast and go unnoticed.
It’s all mahogany. The kind of mahogany that you can’t get anymore. The kind sourced from an ancient tree that was saturated with the howls of forest demons and forbidden Druid chants. You will hear these every time you dare to strum or pick this powerful scepter of musical magic.
As an emergency measure, the volume pot is a push-pull coil tap, in case you can’t handle the forge-hot neck pickup. I have no idea what it is, perhaps a Duncan? DiMarzio? Beelzebub? The bridge is a very hot Duncan…the neck screams by comparison. The tone of the neck and bridge is lush, balanced, and articulate with well-defined lows and spectacular highs that rise up like a screaming phoenix out of the boiling volcano that is this Guild masterpiece.
The neck feels somewhere in between a Gibson slim-taper and the silky locks of Thor the god of thunder. The 24 fret neck is highly addictive and more or less plays itself. Basically, you hold on for dear life while the Guild guides your hands and fingers as if in a trance of supreme musical perfection.
The headstock was meticulously snapped off the neck at some point. I assume while being used to cleave Pangea into the separate continents. It was beautifully repaired to where the break is imperceivable to the touch but still shows like a devastatingly cool battle scar. It absolutely looks 500% better than a neck that hasn’t been broken. Everyone knows a snapped headstock improves tone, that’s why so many people do this mod to their Les Pauls. Broken headstocks also improve overall playability and musical skill. It’s the easiest way to get pro tone and technique.
What else? The action is great and easy to play. The thing just looks so awesome. It’s a battle axe. There’s no question it’s one of the coolest looking guitars ever made. It will get you noticed and people will instantly respect you. It’s a very unique vintage instrument that’s been modified in just the right way. It makes other guitarists jealous, and everyone knows that’s like 80% of why people play guitar anyway.
Sadly, I can’t keep it as I’m scared of it. I don’t want to travel the world playing to large crowds of adoring fans. I am not interested in excessive fame and/or effortless success. It’s just not the guitar for me, perhaps you’re looking for that stuff and have enough courage to let the Guild straddle your body as you ascend to untold heights of guitar-godliness.
Doesn’t come with case.
davismanLV
Venerated Member
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2011
- Messages
- 19,363
- Reaction score
- 12,183
- Location
- U.S.A. : Nevada : Las Vegas
- Guild Total
- 2
That's EPIC!!!
Imho that's a decent price! Less than I paid for my S-60 which doesn't have a headstock broken while cleaving Pangaea! 
Respected from my end.
This person is amazing, salesperson of the year material!!! I normally a avoid salespeople but this one has my full attention.
sailingshoes72
Senior Member
That is hilarious! Had me laughing out loud. Thanks for posting. 
JohnW63
Enlightened Member
I wanted to see the Pangea scar.
OK, the listing has it. It looks like a Harry Potter scar. They could have used that in the ad.
OK, the listing has it. It looks like a Harry Potter scar. They could have used that in the ad.
fronobulax
Bassist, GAD and the Hot Mess Mods
- Joined
- May 3, 2007
- Messages
- 24,756
- Reaction score
- 8,889
- Location
- Central Virginia, USA
- Guild Total
- 5
As an earth-science guy, that seller gets extra credit from me for his plate-tectonics reference (cleaving Pangea into separate continents).
I got it too. Not sure it was my education or just from playing computer games with randomly generated continents and Pangea is the name for one big continent.
kitniyatran
Senior Member
I'm appalled! You mean I've wasted all these years practicing to get better and all I had to do was break my headstock!?!?
acmedrygoods
Junior Member
Hey! For real. Another one the hasn't moved tectonic plates and looks pretty damn good bar non-original knobs. One of y'all should buy this.
I'm local and will run interference and even ship it if I get a six pack out of it. I'm so tempted but ... m u s t r e s i s t
Not sure where else to post this. I have no skin in the game. Don't know the poster. Just seems like Lets Talk Guild should know about it.
Guild S60D 78/79 - musical instruments - by owner - sale
Solid mahogany body, mahogany neck. Dimarzio SD1 pickups. Plays great, sounds great! Got some nicks, but in fantastic shape. Leave a # and I’ll call. Thanks!
sfbay.craigslist.org
I'm local and will run interference and even ship it if I get a six pack out of it. I'm so tempted but ... m u s t r e s i s t
Not sure where else to post this. I have no skin in the game. Don't know the poster. Just seems like Lets Talk Guild should know about it.
Opsimath
Senior Member
Hey! For real. Another one the hasn't moved tectonic plates and looks pretty damn good bar non-original knobs. One of y'all should buy this.
Guild S60D 78/79 - musical instruments - by owner - sale
Solid mahogany body, mahogany neck. Dimarzio SD1 pickups. Plays great, sounds great! Got some nicks, but in fantastic shape. Leave a # and I’ll call. Thanks!sfbay.craigslist.org
I'm local and will run interference and even ship it if I get a six pack out of it. I'm so tempted but ... m u s t r e s i s t
Not sure where else to post this. I have no skin in the game. Don't know the poster. Just seems like Lets Talk Guild should know about it.
Post to Online Offerings.