Cellophane

West R Lee

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Guy goes to the doctor wearing a pair of cellophane underwear, takes off his pants. Doctor says...."I can clearly see you're nuts!". Ooh....that's bad, I know, I know. :oops:

West
 

West R Lee

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Guy goes to the doctor wearing a pair of cellophane underwear, takes off his pants. Doctor says...."I can clearly see you're nuts!". Ooh....that's bad, I know, I know. :oops:

West
 

coastie99

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A bloke goes to the hearing specialist.

Bloke says, "I have custard in one ear and sponge cake in the other".

Specialist says, "That's a very unique condition !"

Bloke says, "You'll have to speak up Doc., I'm a trifle deaf !"
 

coastie99

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A bloke goes to the hearing specialist.

Bloke says, "I have custard in one ear and sponge cake in the other".

Specialist says, "That's a very unique condition !"

Bloke says, "You'll have to speak up Doc., I'm a trifle deaf !"
 

taabru45

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Two guys walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it! :lol:

Crossing the street the other day, saw this blind guy crossing the street, with his seeing eye dog. The light was red and the cars were honking, yelling etc. When the guy got to the other side he reached in his pocked and pulled out a dog biscuit. I went up and said, 'man, you shouldn't give your dog a treat, he almost got you killed crossing the road.' He said 'Yeah, I know, but I have to find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass.' Steffan
 

taabru45

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Two guys walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it! :lol:

Crossing the street the other day, saw this blind guy crossing the street, with his seeing eye dog. The light was red and the cars were honking, yelling etc. When the guy got to the other side he reached in his pocked and pulled out a dog biscuit. I went up and said, 'man, you shouldn't give your dog a treat, he almost got you killed crossing the road.' He said 'Yeah, I know, but I have to find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass.' Steffan
 

JerryR

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coastie99 said:
A bloke goes to the hearing specialist.

Bloke says, "I have custard in one ear and sponge cake in the other".

Specialist says, "That's a very unique condition !"

Bloke says, "You'll have to speak up Doc., I'm a trifle deaf !"


Guy went into a doctors and one of his ears was a pig's ear. He said 'I don't care what it looks like, but it's full of crackling.' (Bet that one doesn't translate over the pond :roll: )
 

JerryR

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coastie99 said:
A bloke goes to the hearing specialist.

Bloke says, "I have custard in one ear and sponge cake in the other".

Specialist says, "That's a very unique condition !"

Bloke says, "You'll have to speak up Doc., I'm a trifle deaf !"


Guy went into a doctors and one of his ears was a pig's ear. He said 'I don't care what it looks like, but it's full of crackling.' (Bet that one doesn't translate over the pond :roll: )
 

capnjuan

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A Latin gentleman confided to a friend that he had two 'Johnsons'
The friend asked: "What do you call them?"
The Gentleman answered: "I call the first one Jose"
The friend asked: "What do you call the other one?"
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The gentleman replied: "Hose B"
 

capnjuan

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A Latin gentleman confided to a friend that he had two 'Johnsons'
The friend asked: "What do you call them?"
The Gentleman answered: "I call the first one Jose"
The friend asked: "What do you call the other one?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

The gentleman replied: "Hose B"
 

coastie99

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JerryR said:
coastie99 said:
A bloke goes to the hearing specialist.

Bloke says, "I have custard in one ear and sponge cake in the other".

Specialist says, "That's a very unique condition !"

Bloke says, "You'll have to speak up Doc., I'm a trifle deaf !"


Guy went into a doctors and one of his ears was a pig's ear. He said 'I don't care what it looks like, but it's full of crackling.' (Bet that one doesn't translate over the pond :roll: )

A pork roast without crackling, ain't a pork roast !

And lotsa murphies !
 

coastie99

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JerryR said:
coastie99 said:
A bloke goes to the hearing specialist.

Bloke says, "I have custard in one ear and sponge cake in the other".

Specialist says, "That's a very unique condition !"

Bloke says, "You'll have to speak up Doc., I'm a trifle deaf !"


Guy went into a doctors and one of his ears was a pig's ear. He said 'I don't care what it looks like, but it's full of crackling.' (Bet that one doesn't translate over the pond :roll: )

A pork roast without crackling, ain't a pork roast !

And lotsa murphies !
 

coastie99

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A Maori fella's sister gave birth to twins, one a boy and one a girl.

She had agreed that her brother could name the babies, so Hori turned up at the hospital to see them.

"Whatchoo gonna name these kids Hori ?" asks Whetu.

"That little girl will be Denise" says Hori.

"Phoo; that's nice eh" says Whetu. "What about the little bro ?"

"Well, he'll be Danephew eh" says Hori.
 

coastie99

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A Maori fella's sister gave birth to twins, one a boy and one a girl.

She had agreed that her brother could name the babies, so Hori turned up at the hospital to see them.

"Whatchoo gonna name these kids Hori ?" asks Whetu.

"That little girl will be Denise" says Hori.

"Phoo; that's nice eh" says Whetu. "What about the little bro ?"

"Well, he'll be Danephew eh" says Hori.
 

JerryR

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Some tourists were visiting a Native American reservation and got to meet the chief. One woman started asking how the people got their poetic names. "Ah", said the chief, "when a woman gives birth, the first thing she notices ahen the baby arrives inspires the name for the baby. See over there, my wife - Dawn Sunrise. And there is my eldest son, Eagle in the sky". just then a brave came up and was obviously trying to attract the chief's attention. The chief turned to him "Yes, what is it, Two Dogs F**king?"
 

JerryR

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Some tourists were visiting a Native American reservation and got to meet the chief. One woman started asking how the people got their poetic names. "Ah", said the chief, "when a woman gives birth, the first thing she notices ahen the baby arrives inspires the name for the baby. See over there, my wife - Dawn Sunrise. And there is my eldest son, Eagle in the sky". just then a brave came up and was obviously trying to attract the chief's attention. The chief turned to him "Yes, what is it, Two Dogs F**king?"
 
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