General Music Humor

davismanLV

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That woman appears to have been aroused. Meanwhile hubby dials 911.
No, she was all farkempt (verklempt) and her a$$hole was squeaking and her husband was dialing 9........ 1..1... on a rotary phone to report JAZZ in the hood!!! Remember rotary phones? And Jazz? First time you heard it you KNEW you wanted the drugs that people offered you last weekend......

Whoops!! :cool:
 

JohnW63

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But the husband looks like this guy:
41qDJIjkSGL.jpg


Dave Brubeck.
 

LeFinPepere

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My dog Gaston growls when I play this vid. (He only sighs when I play my guitar!)
 

Canard

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A friend, who is a professional singer and pianist, sent this very touching tale. It is, however, not his story.

As a singer I sing at many funerals, and I was recently asked by a funeral director to sing at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's Cemetery out near Lindale.

As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost. Everyone who knows me knows I can be directionally challenged AND my GPS lost its signal. I hate Sprint!!

Anyway, I finally arrived an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch. I felt bad and apologised to the guys for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to sing.

The workers put down their lunch and began to gather around. I sang my heart and soul out for this man with no family and friends. As I sang “Amazing Grace”, the spirit began to move, and the workers began to weep. They wept; I wept; we all wept together. When I finished, I prayed a benediction and started for my car, my head hung low but my heart so FULL.

As I opened the door to my car, I overheard one of the workers say, “I’ve never seen nothin’ like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
 

FNG

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A friend, who is a professional singer and pianist, sent this very touching tale. It is, however, not his story.

As a singer I sing at many funerals, and I was recently asked by a funeral director to sing at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's Cemetery out near Lindale.

As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost. Everyone who knows me knows I can be directionally challenged AND my GPS lost its signal. I hate Sprint!!

Anyway, I finally arrived an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch. I felt bad and apologised to the guys for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to sing.

The workers put down their lunch and began to gather around. I sang my heart and soul out for this man with no family and friends. As I sang “Amazing Grace”, the spirit began to move, and the workers began to weep. They wept; I wept; we all wept together. When I finished, I prayed a benediction and started for my car, my head hung low but my heart so FULL.

As I opened the door to my car, I overheard one of the workers say, “I’ve never seen nothin’ like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
That's funny, don't care who you are!
 
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