Because I like language

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• An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
 

walrus

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"The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense."

My favorite!

walrus
 

Nuuska

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Oh my - with my poor english skills - and as interesting as it looks . . .
 

GGJaguar

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1622683672787.png
 

The Guilds of Grot

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Go ahead!

walrus
When they started designing highways in America somebody had the idea that it should be like driving through a park. So they divided the lanes and planted flowers and trees in the median. The roadways were also often lined with trees. (Which can be terrifying if you've every driven on the Merritt Parkway in NY at 80 mph!) So, therefore we drive on a "Parkway"!

Back in the day of horses, there would be a stable/carriage house out back behind the main house. Then there would be a roadway from the street, past the house and back to the carriage house. After the advent of the automobile the carriage house became a garage. Now you would drive your car from the street past the house on the roadway and back to the garage. If you were going to use the car again that day instead of parking it in the garage, you would park it next to the house in the "Driveway"!
 

Nuuska

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How to spell "fish" ?

GHOTI

GH - as in enough
O - as in women
TI - as in nation

Makes perfect sense.
 

JerryR

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Loked the explanation of 'parkway'. Just to say in the UK if you drive on the pavement you get fined - as pavement doesn't mean road surface - it's what Brits call a sidewalk. The Brit joke "keep death off the roads - drive on the pavement" doesn't make sense in the US.
 
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