Autocorrupt

adorshki

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Sillycon Valley CA
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Portents for our future:
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Learn to adjust:

A pirate goes into a pub and was recognized with shock by the innkeeper, saying “Oh my Lord, Jack, is that you?!”

“Aye, ’tis me” he replied. “It’s been a long while!”

The innkeeper then asks “My God man, what happened to ye”

“What ya be meaning” Jack said.

“Well, for one thing you didn’t have a wooden leg” says his old friend.

“Aye, 'twas a big battle at sea it was and a canon ball took me leg off, but the Doc fitted me with this peg leg and I get around pretty good” said Jack.

Then the innkeeper pointed and said “you didn’t used to have a hook for a hand!”

“Aye, I was in a big sword fight with a fellow and he got the better of me and lopped off my hand with his cutlass, but ol’ doc and the blacksmith fixed me up with this hook and I get by just fine.”

“And a patch over your eye?” asked his old friend.

"Aye, it was about 3 months ago I was standing on deck and I heard something. I looked up in the rigging and a seagull took a dump right in my eye” the pirate said.

“My goodness Jake, a little bird poop wouldn’t put your eye out” said the innkeeper.

“Nay, it was the first day with me hook.”

Never let anything deter you from you your mission:

It was the biggest game of the year and the stadium is packed to capacity, standing room only. An elderly gentleman is sitting in a perfect location on the 50 yard line with an empty seat next to him. A guy asked him why the seat was empty and he replied that it was his wife's seat, and that she had passed away and this was the first time in over 50 years that she wasn't there with him. The guy then asked the elderly gentleman why he didn't bring a friend or relative to attend the game with him. The elderly gentleman replied that he had asked everyone he knew, but no one was available. He wasn't sure, but he figured they all went to the funeral.
 
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