OK, you asked for it.
This one isn’t mine but was sent to me for my amusement. It is clearly a classic.
Student: I don't really understand why you dislike me so much but it is the only thing I can assume considering you refuse to even speak with me. I'm going to keep trying and I'll be stopping by your office as much as possible. I don't think you understand the seriousness of why I need to talk to you, all I ask is that you hear me out and I don't think that’s too much to ask. Please get back to me as soon as you can.
Prof: No. That was last fall. We are in a new semester. I have moved on and I suggest that you do, too.
This one is pretty funny.
Hello professor,
I have run into an issue, while getting ready for my presentation, my dress pants ripped and I grabbed the wrong size for dress shirts (I have two of the same shirt in different sizes) I just wanted to let you know this and was hoping you could tell me how many points would be taken off.
Sorry about this,
And I'll leave you with this one. Unreal.
Hi professor,
I understand. I'm working on both papers and although this isn't a good excuse for not passing in my work on time and being late to the discussion, I had to deal with a situation the other night which I have not been taking well. I went to go pick up my car Monday night from a repair shop around 7:30pm in downtown Worcester and when I was walking to my car, I unlocked it and found a homeless man in it. Not long before we got there he had broken the lock on my door and when he didn't succeed on getting in, he took a screw driver to my window and broke that. He hopped out the other side of the car and when my dad (who is 72 years old) went after him, he punched him in the face and they proceeded to get into a fight. The 60 year old man also admitted to being a "crackhead" and asked what I expected. The worst part about all of this is all the seats in the back of my car were down and he had taken my childhood doll (which I bring when I babysit) and taken the pants off, doing who knows what with it. I have spent hours tried to scrub my car and figure out how we are going to repair the damage that has been done to my car because the owner of the shop does not have insurance and my dad doesn't want to cause him any problems. I feel extremely violated. This situation has caused my anxiety to worsen quite a bit and I have constant worry that this man had possibly been carrying covid-19. With my dad being a 72 year old smoker, his health and safety has been an extreme concern. My current work ethic is not like me and I apologize. I just wanted to give you a reason for why I'm a bit behind, but I will make sure to do my best to catch up and participate on time.
walrus