A Swedish song about Norway

Darryl Hattenhauer

Venerated Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Messages
11,083
Reaction score
317
Location
Phoenix, AZ, USA
Since New Zealand is often compared to Norway, I bring you this song by a psychiatrist in Sweden.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=m5bGaR2I4bI

"Norgevisan"
written by Hasse and Tage
Trans by Hatted Frau

(spoken intro)
It's said that one shouldn't generalize
and say for example Germany isn't good.
And in most cases,
one shouldn't, I believe.
But that doesn't apply
to the land where Norwegians live.

Norway, Norway, it is a putrid land.
Norway, Norway, a damned bunch of asses.
Norwegians, Norwegians, they go fishing for lousy cod.
So if you see a wimp,
and he smells like rotten fish,
he's undoubtedly a Norwegian.

Yes, Norwegians are terrible,
so ugly and so small.
Their neckties are disgusting,
with Norwegian flowers on them.
They make themselves immature and silly
and yodel and stand around.
One asks oneself when one sees them:
"How brainless can you get?"

Norway, Norway, it never goes forward.
Norway, Norway, with its thousand homes.
Norway, Norway, you shameful stain on our earth.
A standing stench stinks
all the way down to Doggers Reef
from the Norwegian smorgasbord.

One should give a real slam
at Norway as a nation.
For they have such ugly tundra
and pricky social security.
They don't even make cars,
and their bicycles are crap,
and their only great poet,
he's called Peter Dass.

Norway, Norway, is the world's worst country.
Norwegians, Norwegians, they should be taken care of.
Norwegians, Norwegians, the people who God gave
a tendency to hopelessness, and a forehead so low
that their hats fall off.

Coastie couldn't have said it better himself.
 

GuildFS4612CE

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
3,350
Reaction score
490
Re: A song about New Zealand's Twin

Swedish Music Hall :shock:
 

jp

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
4,849
Reaction score
1,762
Location
Pacific Northwest US
Guild Total
4
Swedes and Norwegians go at it with a rivalry that's all in good fun. They make the exact same jokes about each other. When my wife (a Swede) was working at an architecture firm in Boston, some new Norwegian clients visited, and the first thing out of her mouth when shaking hands was a joke about Norwegians. They fired right back with jokes about Swedes. :mrgreen:
 

Darryl Hattenhauer

Venerated Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Messages
11,083
Reaction score
317
Location
Phoenix, AZ, USA
JP,

Yes, it's all a great joke because the two countries are so similar--about as different as Kansas and Nebraska.

The singer was married to my Swedish teacher. She just emailed me this clip. He was the most brilliant person I've ever known. He was like a cerebral Robin Williams.

dh
 

Guildmark

Gone But Not Forgotten
Gone But Not Forgotten
Joined
Aug 2, 2006
Messages
3,714
Reaction score
0
Location
Behind the Orange Curtain, CA
Well, Darryl. You got me nostalgic. See, I went to a school founded by Norwegians – St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota. (It's the only college in America whose fight song is a waltz.) I took Norwegian while I was there, and didn’t do badly, but several years out of college, I found the only phrase I could remember was, “No, thank you. I prefer to smoke a pipe.”

As fate would have it, I had occasion to use it once. We were doing a gig in St. John’s, New Brunswick and, when we took a break, a group of guys said (in English) they liked our music and asked if they could buy us a beer. My roommate and I took them up on it right away, of course, and we learned they were part of the crew of a Norwegian freighter on its maiden voyage out of Oslo to take on a cargo of Canadian wheat. Now, my roommate, Dean, was, by far, the more gregarious of us and he got up a friendly conversation right away. Dean’s dad had been a merchant marine, so he immediately started asking all sorts of questions about their ship: tonnage, power plant, navigation equipment. All of which the sailors were delighted to explain one at a time or talking all together. I had not said a word up ‘til now. Well the beers arrived and the ship’s engineer was about to provide details of their propeller as he extracted a Marlboro from the pack in his shirt pocket. As he did, he politely shook another filtered tip out and offered it to me.

Well, the face on Dean, who knew very well that I had this phrase tucked inside my brain, suddenly displayed utter shock and amazement as he realized what could be accomplished in this moment. I caught his eye for a split second, smiled, then with equal courtesy, held up my hand and nonchalantly said, “Nei, takk. Jeg røker helst pipe.”

The shocked silence lasted only a second or two – until Dean’s chair hit the floor as he fell over backward laughing! When the Norwegians recovered they all began speaking together in a storm of Norwegian which, if translated, surely must have been, “Damn, I thought you looked familiar!”, or “Don’t your parents own that little furniture shop in Bergen?” or even “Hey! Aren’t you the one who broke my sister’s heart!?”

When I finally got around to explaining to them that I had just used the only Norwegian phrase I knew, it made no difference to them! When you sail around the world from Norway, it is extremely rare to meet anyone else who speaks your language. They had been thrilled to hear any of their native tongue so far from home. They stayed and bought pitcher after pitcher of beer until the place closed down. Then we all piled into a couple of taxis and headed to their ship. We were given the tour from stem to stern and truck to keel. We drank Norwegian beer until the sun came up and then finally made our way back to our hotel. The crew came in every night for the rest of the week until we moved on and they sailed home. But we shared Christmas cards for years after that.

I have made it my mission to collect the phrase “No thank you. I prefer to smoke a pipe.” in as many languages as I can. Eventually, I intend to publish it as a travel guide along with a slightly more extended version of this tale.

Now, I think I’ll try to remember a few “Ole and Lena” jokes.
Good evening.
 

jp

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
4,849
Reaction score
1,762
Location
Pacific Northwest US
Guild Total
4
Great story, Mark!

Before I moved to Sweden, I learned only three Swedish phrases:
-- Vem skall plocka dem bananerna? (Who's going to pick those bananas?)
-- Kanske örat behöver spolas. (Perhaps the ear needs syringing.)
-- Jag är amerikan--här är mina pengar. (I am American, here is my money.)
I though it would be funny to answer all Swedes with one of these phrases. Instead, all I got were humorless stares--not even a smirk.
 

Darryl Hattenhauer

Venerated Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Messages
11,083
Reaction score
317
Location
Phoenix, AZ, USA
From my limited experience, any Scandinavian in a boat is friendly and interested in all kinds of people. Same goes for any Scandinavian hiking, fishing, camping, etc.

Their sense of humor is definitely different from that of Americans. But sometimes they actually laugh right out loud.
 

Graham

Venerated Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2006
Messages
11,241
Reaction score
0
Location
Way way North Texas, Ontario, Canada
Guildmark said:
I have made it my mission to collect the phrase “No thank you. I prefer to smoke a pipe.” in as many languages as I can. Eventually, I intend to publish it as a travel guide along with a slightly more extended version of this tale.


Too funny Mark.

And now for something completely similar.
 

Darryl Hattenhauer

Venerated Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Messages
11,083
Reaction score
317
Location
Phoenix, AZ, USA
Once I was in a Swedish bakery where you have to get a numbered ticket and then wait to be called on. I couldn't see where they were getting the tickets from, so I inquired of some old bag. She disappeared. I mean she was gone so fast that I couldn't see which way she went. I found out later than I had asked her "Where can I get laid?"

I told that story to the singer of the song I posted, and as he usually did, he went into another personailty, this time imitating an old bag (the way Jonathan Winters would suddenly be Maud Frickert) and said, "Quick, out in the car."
 

Graham

Venerated Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2006
Messages
11,241
Reaction score
0
Location
Way way North Texas, Ontario, Canada
JerryR said:
Only Swedish I know I picked up from the chef on the Muppets :mrgreen:

I think we had that discussion before. Yessir we did. :mrgreen: Right here.

And it was stated that the Muppet Chef is actually Norwegian.

Is there anything we don't know? :shock:
 

capnjuan

Gone But Not Forgotten
Gone But Not Forgotten
Joined
Nov 29, 2006
Messages
12,952
Reaction score
4
Location
FL
Graham said:
Is there anything we don't know? :shock:
What else could there possibly be?
 

JerryR

Enlightened Member
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
7,626
Reaction score
588
Location
Way, way North East Texas, Wiltshire, England
Graham said:
JerryR said:
Only Swedish I know I picked up from the chef on the Muppets :mrgreen:

I think we had that discussion before. Yessir we did. :mrgreen: Right here.

And it was stated that the Muppet Chef is actually Norwegian.

Is there anything we don't know? :shock:


Is that Jeff beside him in the photo :shock:
 

Graham

Venerated Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2006
Messages
11,241
Reaction score
0
Location
Way way North Texas, Ontario, Canada
JerryR said:
Graham said:
JerryR said:
Only Swedish I know I picked up from the chef on the Muppets :mrgreen:

I think we had that discussion before. Yessir we did. :mrgreen: Right here.

And it was stated that the Muppet Chef is actually Norwegian.

Is there anything we don't know? :shock:


Is that Jeff beside him in the photo :shock:

Looks more like my brother. :shock:
 

john_kidder

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2005
Messages
3,103
Reaction score
6
Location
Ashcroft, BC, Canada
I'm married to a Norwegian, have two kids who are therefore Norwegian citizens (and are now at university in Bergen). I send that song around (thanks Darryl), and got a few comments:

My brother Michael:
  • Well that certainly allays any fears I had of an arising European collective super-culture.

My brother Peter:
  • It's the Swedes who are the wimps, you can tell by their haircuts.

    I really liked the petty hatreds I found all around Europe. The people from Rotterdam think the Amsterdamned are idiots. The people from Masstricht think all northeners are idiots. The Bohemians dislike the Moravians. The French are snotty and nobody likes the Germans. It's a fine and healthy sense of boyish bravado. It's a lovely lyric and I hope to hear you play the melody some day, perhaps with word sheets so we can sing along.

My mother Jill:
  • I refuse to listen to such base calumny aboutwhat has always been my favourite country next to

    Saskatchewan.

and finally, my wife Siri:
  • How uncharacteristically Swedish!
    They're usually just passive aggressive, without a sense of humor, this is quite refreshing...
    (they are just mad at the Norwegians about the oil)
 

Darryl Hattenhauer

Venerated Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2006
Messages
11,083
Reaction score
317
Location
Phoenix, AZ, USA
John,

University of Bergen. Those are the luckiest kids in the world.

The song is a satirical parody of those few Swedes who really did think Norwegians were inferior. There were a few Swedes who liked it because they missed the humor and thought it was serious. And when the singer performed it in Norway (in 1968), a few Norwegians got steamed because they, too, couldn't tell it was a joke.

Maybe my experience is atypical, but the last time I was in Europe, the old 1960s stereotypes of the various nations were all but gone. I can remember only two wienies, and that was in a country where I lived for a whole year.
 
Top