Aunt Mabel and CitiBank

Aunt Mabel died this past January. CitiBank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge... the balance had been $0.00...  now was somewhere around $60.00) 
I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:

Me:  "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..."

CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been." 

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau...maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

CitiBank:"...excuse me ....?"

Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being dead?"

CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

CitiBank: ".....(stammer)" 

CitiBank: "Are you her lawyer?" 

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew."  (Lawyer info given... )

CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure."  ( Fax number is given )

( After they get the fax. )

CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for death..."

Me: "Oh..."

CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."

Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose...don't really think she will care...."

CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"

CitiBank: "That might help."

Me: " ( Odessa Memorial Cemetery #### Hwy 129 and plot number given. )

CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

Although not exactly the same, this is similar to several conversations I had in real life with Bank of America - which is why I no longer do any business with them.

In short, I had a joint checking account with my daughter which was set up over 5 years ago after my wife/her mom died. This was done for protection only - my daughter didn't evebn have the account number as she has her own checking account. When my daughter bought her own house in another state, Bank of America moved me with her (that is, started sending statements to my name at her new address) - although no one ever reported anything to the bank about her moving.

When I questioned them at every level - branch, several national phone contacts (like above, with supervisors too), every conclusion - which they sometimes gave me in writing - that if I didn't call, my daughter did.

Like the joke above, the same response is repeated - which in every case I asked why they were calling me or my daughter liars. They would reply that they weren't saying that - only if I didn't report an address change, she would have had to.

So everything I had done with them was moved elsewhere.

Second punchline - I moved the credit card to Citibank

When I moved from Pasadena, CA to San Francisco in 1982, I "closed" my checking account with Wells Fargo Bank... but wrote the check wrong and left $0.02 (2 cents) in the account. They sent me monthly accounts showing my 2 cents for two years, before I finally managed to get them to send me a check for that amount.