Old guy joke

dreadnut

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Old boy goes to the doctor; says "I can't hear diddly-squat out of my left ear!" Doc looks in his ear and says "Well no wonder" and pulls a suppository out of his ear.

Old boy says "Well I bet I know where my hearing aid is now!"
 

adorshki

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Speaking of old people jokes, my aunt sent me this one years ago, seems like a good time to put it up again:



And while pulling that one outta the vault, found this one too:


Exercise for people over 40

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold the position for just a little bit longer. After a couple of weeks move up to 10lb potato bags, then try 50 lb potato bags, and then eventually try to get to where you can hold a 100lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight out for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
 

adorshki

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I always loved that video, Al!! Had it on my old computer!! :encouragement:

And while not necessarily "old people", how about:

"Me And You Is Friends"

Me And You Is Friends!

You Smile, I Smile ...

You Hurt, I Hurt .

You Cry, I Cry ..

You Jump Off A Bridge...





I Gonna Miss Your E-Mails
 

adorshki

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Of course, getting old hath its privileges, like getting to write your own epitaph.

5f9031435be2ec57d6b6916976968e61.jpg



And why do I get the sneaking suspicion this one is Charles Addams' ?

Jack-in-a-box_thumb1.jpg
 
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Nuuska

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My wife has agreed - she might even honor it - that if I die before her, she'll have following text memorizing me:

Paljon tinasit
Paljon pilasit
Viimein kolvisi kylmeni


This is a standing joke here in Finland - I do not know that anybody ever actually had it in their gravestone.

Translation

You soldered a lot
You spoiled a lot
Finally your soldering gun got cold
 
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