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Thread: Old guy joke

  1. #1
    Senior Member dreadnut's Avatar
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    Old guy joke

    Old boy goes to the doctor; says "I can't hear diddly-squat out of my left ear!" Doc looks in his ear and says "Well no wonder" and pulls a suppository out of his ear.

    Old boy says "Well I bet I know where my hearing aid is now!"
    TODAY is the TOMORROW you spent all day YESTERDAY acting like there was no.

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  2. #2
    Senior Member walrus's Avatar
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    Good one!

    walrus
    2008 PRS Hollowbody Spruce
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  3. #3
    Senior Member adorshki's Avatar
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    Speaking of old people jokes, my aunt sent me this one years ago, seems like a good time to put it up again:



    And while pulling that one outta the vault, found this one too:


    Exercise for people over 40

    Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room at each side.
    With a 5lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.
    Each day you'll find that you can hold the position for just a little bit longer. After a couple of weeks move up to 10lb potato bags, then try 50 lb potato bags, and then eventually try to get to where you can hold a 100lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight out for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

    After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
    Al
    "Time May Change the Technique of Music But Never Its Mission " - Rachmaninoff
    My 1st Guild: '96 Westerly D25NT "Hally" (10-31-96 stamped on heelblock)
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    All bought new!

  4. #4
    Senior Member davismanLV's Avatar
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    I always loved that video, Al!! Had it on my old computer!!
    Tom in Vegas

    Use the good china. Life itself is the special occasion.

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  5. #5
    Senior Member adorshki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by davismanLV View Post
    I always loved that video, Al!! Had it on my old computer!!
    And while not necessarily "old people", how about:

    "Me And You Is Friends"

    Me And You Is Friends!

    You Smile, I Smile ...

    You Hurt, I Hurt .

    You Cry, I Cry ..

    You Jump Off A Bridge...





    I Gonna Miss Your E-Mails
    Al
    "Time May Change the Technique of Music But Never Its Mission " - Rachmaninoff
    My 1st Guild: '96 Westerly D25NT "Hally" (10-31-96 stamped on heelblock)
    #2: '01 Westerly F65ce "Blondie"
    #3: '03 Corona D40e Richie Havens "Richie"
    All bought new!

  6. #6
    Senior Member walrus's Avatar
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    LMAO!

    walrus
    2008 PRS Hollowbody Spruce
    2011 Guild F-30RCE

  7. #7
    Senior Member adorshki's Avatar
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    Of course, getting old hath its privileges, like getting to write your own epitaph.




    And why do I get the sneaking suspicion this one is Charles Addams' ?

    Last edited by adorshki; 10-18-2019 at 04:23 PM.
    Al
    "Time May Change the Technique of Music But Never Its Mission " - Rachmaninoff
    My 1st Guild: '96 Westerly D25NT "Hally" (10-31-96 stamped on heelblock)
    #2: '01 Westerly F65ce "Blondie"
    #3: '03 Corona D40e Richie Havens "Richie"
    All bought new!

  8. #8
    My wife has agreed - she might even honor it - that if I die before her, she'll have following text memorizing me:

    Paljon tinasit
    Paljon pilasit
    Viimein kolvisi kylmeni


    This is a standing joke here in Finland - I do not know that anybody ever actually had it in their gravestone.

    Translation

    You soldered a lot
    You spoiled a lot
    Finally your soldering gun got cold
    First good guitar - GUILD Duane Eddy 400 - I was 3rd owner - still regret letting it go 25 years ago - used to have Artist Award and Starfire - no regrets here.
    Present guitars - all bought new - F50R 1975 - F512 1977 - F212CSB 1979 - OM-240CE 2018 - Schecter Startocaster
    Bought secondhand - B30SB fretless - RED Songbird - White Songbird - S-60D - D-125 - Gibson 3/4-size acoustic 1957 - Carmelo Gonzales nylon string - old Levin Lute

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