Back again - found this in "usual source" - I was on a finnish website reading jokes, and there were some in english - thought to share them, in case you never heard them before.
[FONT="]How many Finns does it take to change a light bulb?[/FONT]
[FONT="]Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink enough Kossu (vodka) until the room starts spinning.[/FONT]
[FONT="]OR[/FONT]
[FONT="](based on the fact that 'all' Finns are engineers) None. They fix the old one.
[/FONT][FONT="]Drinking[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sakke and Ville are sitting in a cottage in the middle of nowhere. They've been drinking for three days straight and they finally run out of booze.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sakke says to his mate "Hey, go and look in the tool shed and see if there's anything to drink there."[/FONT]
[FONT="]Ville comes back with a bottle of methanol, and says "We could drink this, but we'll go blind!"[/FONT]
[FONT="]Sakke slowly looks around the cottage and out the window, and says "I think we've seen enough."
[/FONT][FONT="]Small talk[/FONT]
[FONT="](N.B. Finland, with its extremely high level of education, never ceases to amaze me - have you ever met a Finn who can count to one?!)[/FONT]
[FONT="]Mika and Peppe hadn't seen each other for ages, so they decided to get together for "one" beer. At the end of the first pint Peppe says "How have you been?" Mika just grunts in reply.[/FONT]
[FONT="]At the end of the second pint Peppe asks "So how's your family?" Again, Mika just grunts in reply.[/FONT]
[FONT="]After three pints Peppe asks "How's work going?" Mika suddenly stands up and shouts[/FONT]
[FONT="]"P*rkele! Did we come here to talk or drink?!"[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Moon[/FONT]
[FONT="]Why are there no Finns on the moon?[/FONT]
[FONT="]They went, but there was no wood.
[/FONT][FONT="]Finnish soldier[/FONT]
[FONT="]A young female reporter from a British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about Finnish soldiers returning from the Winter War. Interviewing one infantry-man, Jussi, she asked[/FONT]
[FONT="]"When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing you did?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]"I screwed my wife," Jussi replied bluntly.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The journalist went red, and tried to change the subject.[/FONT]
[FONT="]"After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]"I screwed her again," he answered.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The journalist turned an even darker shade of red.[/FONT]
[FONT="]"Other than that! Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]"I took off my skis and had a beer."
[/FONT][FONT="]Finnish weather explained[/FONT]
[FONT="]+15°C / 59°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.[/FONT]
[FONT="]People in Spain wears winter-coats and gloves.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.[/FONT]
[FONT="]+10°C / 50°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.[/FONT]
[FONT="]+5°C / 41°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]Italian cars won't start.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.[/FONT]
[FONT="]0°C / 32°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]Distilled water freezes.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The water in the Vanda river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-5°C / 23°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]People in California almost freeze to death.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-10°C / 14°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Brits start the heat in their houses.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns start using long sleeves.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-20°C / -4°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Aussies flee from Mallorca.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-30°C / -22°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-40°C / -40°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]Paris start cracking in the cold.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns stand in line at the "grilli-kioski".[/FONT]
[FONT="]-50°C / -58°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-60°C / -76°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-70°C / -94°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]The false Santa moves south.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-183°C / -297.4°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]Microbes in food don't survive.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.[/FONT]
[FONT="]-273°C / -459.4°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]All atom-based movent halts.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The Finns start saying "P*rkele, it's cold outside today."[/FONT]
[FONT="]-300°C / -508°F[/FONT]
[FONT="]Hell freezes over.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.
[/FONT]