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Thread: Little Old Lady and State Trooper

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Dickson, TN

    Little Old Lady and State Trooper

    Little old lady in Burns, TN was doing 65 in a 40 when a State Trooper met her going in the opposite direction. He did a double take and realized she was knitting as she drove. He thought, "I need to stop her and give a kind but firm lecture on safe driving" so he wheels around catches up to her and decides to leave his flashing lights off. He pulls along side her and sure enough she driving with a knitting needle in her hand and material dangling all over steering wheel down into her lap. The State Trooper rolls his window down and calmly points to the side of the road snd says, "pull over" snd she just smiles and nodds and keeps on driving. Trooper thinks she may be hard of hearing so this time he puts a little volume on his "pull over" to which she responds by just nodding and smiling but kept right on driving and knitting. State Trooper is a little "testy" by now and thinks I going to have to get a little rough with Granny so he pulls along side her and, thankfully, she has rolled down her window. Loudly and sternly he yells, "pull over" and she looks at him and sweetly smiles and says, "no a Scarf."

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    metrowest MA
    Funny . . . when I come across ladies like this one, they are typically doing 40 mph in a 65 zone.
    several Guilds, one Gretsch, one Taylor, & a Squire CV tele

  3. #3
    Talking about getting old

    A relative of mine in MN was in nursing home in his final years - having alzheimer. He was in great physical condition and used to ride bicycle daily - long rides. So one day the police finds him bicycling on freeway, which is a no no...

    They pull over and stop him - he reacts by knocking out the first cop so that the cop falls on the road right when a truck is approaching - luckily the second cop pulls him into safety in time. After that it is handcuffs and county jail. Few hours later they get information about missing elderly and find out it is the same guy. So they let him out, give back his wallet among other stuff and drive him back. No charges.

    Afterwards he is telling : "They were so nice cops - they let me spend time with them and even gave me some money."

    Soooo - after all it may NOT be so bad getting old. But then again . . . .
    First good guitar - GUILD Duane Eddy 400 - I was 3rd owner - still regret letting it go 25 years ago - used to have Artist Award and Starfire - no regrets here.
    Present guitars - all bought new - F50R 1975 - F512 1977 - F212CSB 1979 - OM-240CE 2018 - Schecter Startocaster
    bought secondhand - B30SB fretless - RED Songbird - White Songbird - D-125 - Gibson 3/4-size acoustic 1957 - Carmelo Gonzales nylon string - old Levin Lute

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Dickson, TN
    Nuuska the true one are always better.

  5. #5
    Senior Member poser's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Ohio, USA

  6. #6
    Senior Member 5thumbs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Norridge, Illinois
    Here's another good one:

    An older woman gets pulled over for speeding...
    Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
    Older Woman: Oh, I see.
    Officer: Can I see your license please?
    Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
    Officer: Don't have one?
    Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
    Older Woman: I can't do that.
    Officer: Why not?
    Older Woman: I stole this car.
    Officer: Stole it?
    Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
    Officer: You what?
    Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
    The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
    Older Woman: Is there a problem sir?
    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
    Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
    Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
    The officer is quite stunned.
    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
    Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

    If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

    '79 Guild D40
    '00 Guild DV52
    '68 Gibson B25
    '04 Seagull M12

  7. #7
    Senior Member davismanLV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    U.S.A. : Nevada : Las Vegas
    Okay now THAT'S funny!! Thanks, Rick!!
    Tom in Vegas

    Use the good china. Life itself is the special occasion.

    Guild D65s, 1994
    Guild DV72, 1994
    Taylor GC8, 2011
    Breedlove Oregon Concert Rogue 4/12/2016 (The BLUE one)
    Breedlove Myrtlewood Concerto E 07/12/17
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