Some of the "errors" might be careless writing but there are definitely details missing giving an overall impression of WRONG!
He gets Starfire bass details wrong. They were officially cataloged in 1965 but there are known examples with a 1964 serial number. There are a couple of Starfire II's that pre-date 1967 although all I know is their existence and not their history. The bass boost was added in mid-1967 and every Starfire bass has a tone and volume control per pickup. So to suggest that the suck switch was replaced by a tone control is sloppy writing at best.
All that said, I think it is an admirable effort. It reminds me of my first drafts of writing about Guild and I don't get everything right the first, or even second time