Addiction humor

I know this guy who drinks brake fluid, but he says he can stop anytime!

Grooooooooooan

Gotta love 12 step funnies. I heard a guy say one time that he wished he had a nickel for every $5 cover charge he's paid.

:lol: :lol:

I just love terrible jokes like that. Thanks for the laugh. :lol:

Some of my favorite jokes are groaners. :wink:

Joe

killdeer43 said:

Some of my favorite jokes are groaners. :wink:
Joe

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Two guns were walking down the street when they passed an open door with an AA meeting going on.
First one says "Hey, maybe we should check this out".
Second one says: "We can't go in there, we're loaded."
You asked for it.... :lol:

Three guys were walking down the sidewalk.
Two of the guys walked into a bar.
The third one ducked! :shock:

Here we go...... :lol:
Joe

Skeleton walked into a bar. Ordered a beer and a mop.

Priest, Doctor, and a Lawyer walked into a bar. Bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

TonyT said:

Skeleton walked into a bar. Ordered a beer and a mop.

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My kind of joke. :lol:

Joe

A horse walks into a bar... the bartender says "Why the long face?"

A termite walks into a bar and says "Is the bar tender here?"

A guy walks into a tavern, puts his briefcase on the bar and pulls out a scale model Steinway piano and a 12" pianist.....*

*you know the rest. :lol:

Joe

OK, time for the obligatory veer, from "addiction" humor to "geezer" humor:
(courtesy of my boss! ):


*** Adult Truths ***

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies......Quit Laughing.

Heal the past, live the present, dream the future.

Impressive list, Al.
Is there a source or is it an adorshki original?

Joe

killdeer43 said:

Impressive list, Al.
Is there a source or is it an adorshki original?
Joe

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As mentioned, courtesy of my boss, not sure where he got it...part of a chain letter promising freedom from Depends if properly disseminated, perhaps? :lol:

adorshki said:

if properly disseminated, perhaps? :lol:

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Depends....on whether you need 'em or not. 8)

I'll say no more, forever...
Joe

killdeer43 said:

adorshki said:

if properly disseminated, perhaps? :lol:

Click to expand...

Depends....on whether you need 'em or not. 8)
I'll say no more, forever...
Joe

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Don't stop if you're on a roll .... unless you like drinkin' brake fluid... :lol:

GREAT list, Al !!!! LSHMSFOAIDMT !!!

davismanLV said:

GREAT list, Al !!!! LSHMSFOAIDMT !!!

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hmmmm... laughed so hard my shoes fell off and I drank my throwup?

zulu said:

davismanLV said:

GREAT list, Al !!!! LSHMSFOAIDMT !!!

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hmmmm... laughed so hard my shoes fell off and I drank my throwup?

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Laughing so hard my sombrero fell off and I dropped my taco..... (I live in the southwest). :lol:

:lol:

Ahhh. Appreciate the clarificacion.