Just Three Words

cjd-player

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A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... on one condition"

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition Was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly And meaningfully said....
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"Clean my house."
 

JerryR

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cjd-player said:
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... on one condition"

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition Was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly And meaningfully said....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Clean my house."

:shock: I didn't know anyone had found out about that - I didn't tell anyone - must have been her........ :oops:
 

Graham

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JerryR said:
cjd-player said:
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... on one condition"

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition Was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly And meaningfully said....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Clean my house."

:shock: I didn't know anyone had found out about that - I didn't tell anyone - must have been her........ :oops:

Always go in at closing time Jer? :wink:
 

cjd-player

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JerryR said:
cjd-player said:
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... on one condition"

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition Was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly And meaningfully said....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Clean my house."

:shock: I didn't know anyone had found out about that - I didn't tell anyone - must have been her........ :oops:

So Jerry, how long did it take you???
 

FNG

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I always heard it with the man/woman reversed, with the punchline..

Paint My House! :shock: 8)
 

West R Lee

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As I was reading your joke to my wife CJ, she patiently listened until I got to the punch line, then blurted out those same three words. Swears she'd never heard the joke. Must be a woman thing? I don't get it!

West
 

cjd-player

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FNG said:
I always heard it with the man/woman reversed, with the punchline..

Paint My House! :shock: 8)


That make sense. I got this from a friend of mine who was noting the difference between male jokes and female jokes. :roll: This was classified as a female joke. :lol:
 

cjd-player

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West R Lee said:
As I was reading your joke to my wife CJ, she patiently listened until I got to the punch line, then blurted out those same three words. Swears she'd never heard the joke. Must be a woman thing? I don't get it!

West


OOOOOH. I got it right away. :oops: Maybe I'm too in touch with my feminine side :shock: :shock:

Then again, I've been married for ... be right back...
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27 years, so I think I'm beginning to start to barely understand women now. 8)
 

West R Lee

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Ohh, talk about getting in touch with your feminine side? I can't believe I'm gonna tell this, I think it's appropriate though since some on this site probably think I'm either ready for a KKK hood or that I salute hand over head while clicking my heels to the Swastika.

My wife decided some years ago that she wanted to make jewelry out of turquoise and coral and onyx and silver. She sat there night after night, just looking at these beads, getting very frustrated. She had just spent several hundred dollars on this stuff and was afraid it was all for not.

Anyway, just to show her it wasn't that hard, I sat down, grabbed some beads, strung a few I thought would look good together, and walah! I became the beading man. Multimillion dollar compressors by day, but at night...............Bubba the beader.

The worst part was after I put a few together, she decided to start selling. She'd tell these ladies...."Oh, my husband made that one!"

Why, I sometimes even ask her how she feels about different subjects while trying to "connect".

Please don't tell anyone!

West
 

West R Lee

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:lol: Gaudy? What do you call that collection of yours :?: You Guild glutton you! If they ever do an autopsy on you, they'll find scalloped bracing inside your f hole! Double truss rods in your neck.

West
 

john_kidder

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West R Lee said:
scalloped bracing inside your f hole! Double truss rods in your neck!
Wow. We could start a whole new litany of curses, known only to guitar players.
  • May your intonation never be precisely right.
 

The Guilds of Grot

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West R Lee said:
You Guild glutton you! If they ever do an autopsy on you, they'll find scalloped bracing inside your f hole! Double truss rods in your neck.
You know, I think I'm flattered by that! :shock:

Word of warning; You may not want to make me mad, a D-100C may come up on eBay! :lol:
 

Graham

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West R Lee said:
I sat down, grabbed some beads, strung a few I thought would look good together, and walah! I became the beading man.

I put a few together, she decided to start selling. She'd tell these ladies...."Oh, my husband made that one!"

Why, I sometimes even ask her how she feels about different subjects while trying to "connect".

Please don't tell anyone!

West

You know we're good about that sort of thing. :wink:

West-bejewelled.jpg
 

cjd-player

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Graham said:
West R Lee said:
I sat down, grabbed some beads, strung a few I thought would look good together, and walah! I became the beading man.

I put a few together, she decided to start selling. She'd tell these ladies...."Oh, my husband made that one!"

Why, I sometimes even ask her how she feels about different subjects while trying to "connect".

Please don't tell anyone!

West

You know we're good about that sort of thing. :wink:

West-bejewelled.jpg


Way, way, way, too much bling for my taste, and I even own a D-55!.
 

JerryR

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Graham said:
JerryR said:
cjd-player said:
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... on one condition"

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition Was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, And then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, Which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly And meaningfully said....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Clean my house."

:shock: I didn't know anyone had found out about that - I didn't tell anyone - must have been her........ :oops:

Always go in at closing time Jer? :wink:


Yup. Don't cost so much in drinks, and you can immediately give ythe immortal chat-up line "grab your coat - you're pulled" :mrgreen:
 
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