The piano man

hansmoust

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Again one from the 'old' board but it's music related and hell ......... it's a good story!

The piano man

The manager of an up-scale nightclub is checking the place before they are going to open the business later that night when in walks this shabby looking man.
'We're not open yet!' the manager says to the man , 'we open at 9.00'.
The man answers: 'I saw your sign in the window that says you're looking for a piano player!'.
'Yes we are, and.....?" says the manager .
'Well' , continues the man 'I am a piano player and I'm looking for a job'.
The manager thinks 'sure and I want to become the President', but he tries to stay polite and asks the man what sort of music he plays.
"Well, I play strictly my own compositions and some people have told me I'm good!'.

The manager thinks, what the heck, points to the piano in the corner and says:
'OK, play us a tune and we'll see if it is something for the kind of audience we usually attract'.
So, the man sits down and starts playing the most beautiful music and while he's playing the manager thinks: ' Wow, this guy can really play!'.
The man finishes the song and the manager is really impressed and says:'That was a beautiful song, what is it called?'
He answers "My baby is going to leave me; I think I'm going to kill myself"
'That's a very depressive title' the manager says, ' but hey, it's only the title. Can you do another one?'.
The man starts playing an even more beautiful song and the manager just sits and is amazed by this man who has this almost un-natural talent. When the song is over, one of the waitresses, who has just walked in, has tears rolling down her face..
'Man, you're fantastic and what was the name of that song?' the manager asks.
The man answers . 'Tomorrow we're going to put my dog to sleep'.
'That's awfull' responds the manager, ' but it sure sounded beautiful. So, how do you come up with that stuff?'
And the man says: 'These things really happened to me and the music just comes naturally.
Should I play another one? I have one that's called "The day I woke up in my own vomit"
'No no, it's alright' says the manager ' you got the job! Under one condition. You just play and don't speak to the audience. Don't say anything! Don't announce the name of the songs! Just play! And we gotta do something about your looks. We might have a tuxedo somewhere. Can you start tonight?'

So, they give the man a tuxedo, which helps a little bit, and adjust the lighting in the corner, so the audience can't really see the man.
Well, the people start coming in and from the first tune it is clear that the audience loves the piano player. The manager feels really good about his new 'find' and everybody is excited and the audience keeps calling for more and more.

At one point the piano player takes a short intermission because he needs to go to the bathroom and when he comes back one of the listeners in the front row steps up to him and says: 'Excuse me sir! Do you know your fly is open and your dick is hanging out?'

'Do I know it? Do I know it?' the piano player responds. 'I wrote the [••••]in' tune!'.
 
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