Political correctness!

hansmoust

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OK guys! I know that there are a lot of folks who believe that political correctness is a thing of the '90s but I would think that Don would agree with most of these:

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED-She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not horny - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes orally REPETITIVE
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

He does not have a BEER GUT -He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT
 

West R Lee

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And then Hans, one of my all-time favorites used during the Monica Lewinsky debacle.............Clinton's statements were not "lies", but were said to be "factually inaccurate".

West
 

hansmoust

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Yes, I believe I heard that one quite a few times since then......and we should not forget to mention 'plausible deniability'

But I believe we are not supposed to talk politics here , so ......ehhh, talking of Ms. Lewinsky. These were some possible titles for the book she was writing at the time. Have no idea if it was ever published.

1. I Suck At My Job
2. What Really Goes Down In The White House
3. How I Blew It In Washington
4. You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
5. Clear and Present Dangler
6. Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
7. Going Back for Gore
8. Podium Girl
9. Secret Services to the President
10. Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
11. Deep Inside The Oval Office
12. The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
13. She's Chief of MY Staff
14. Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
15. How To Beat Off the Government
16. Going Down and Moving Up
17. Members of the Presidential Cabinet
18. Me and My Big Mouth
19. How To Get Ahead in Business...
20. Lip Service
 

West R Lee

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:lol: Best seller too, I might ad. Yes, I believe that one will go down in the anals. Very talented young lady, I didn't know she had it in her!

West
 

West R Lee

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I've heard that work has great literary value with a blow-by-blow account of all of Ms. Lewinsky's activities while performing her duties there in Washington.
 

Jeff

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Monica

I read somewhere a few weeks ago, on Monica's birthday, she turned 28 I think.

Can't believe how time files, it seems just yesterday Monica was crawling around the Oval Office on her hands & knees.
 

West R Lee

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Darryl,

I've heard she's gone into the medical profession and is now a Head Nurse.

I had also heard that she had become a reporter for Politics Illustrated and gave blow-by-blow accounts of the inner most secrets in Washington until she was given a gag order!

West
 

Jeff

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Coastie,

The whole Monica bit would have been more decorumus & decent'er if it had been Cher who blew the President's whistle.

A wise man once advised me: "Son if you're gonna do that kind of thing, you should be certain, should you get caught, you won't be embarrassed. "

Hillary really let the People down, she should'a been keepin that boy busy or she could have given Cher a call. Either way, she let US down.
 

Darryl Hattenhauer

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Cher probably did blow his whistle. She did everybody else's. How else would she beat Meryl Streep for the Academy award?

I sure wish she'd keep her word and make one of these final tours her last. As Dan Hicks (another Guilder) put it, "How can I miss you if you won't go away?"
 

Jeff

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I don't give a rat's nostril hair about Cher's politics or personal life.

All I want is for her to sing to me and then do me, real mean. What she does on her own time is her business.

But this was about Bill's fantasy.
 

Jeff

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OK fellas, you're hurting my feelings now, pickin on Cher,

Take a look http://cher.com/,

Only thing I can say is; 60 or not, this Trashy Lady can sing.

Old as she is, I'd be willing to take a closer look at some of her tatoos.

It's gotta happen soon though, I draw the line at 65. A man has to have some principles.
 
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