"You don't know Jack Schitt!"

hansmoust

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WHO IS JACK SCHITT??? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable throughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt. So, NOW if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!
 

john_kidder

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Hans - is the second book intended to contain some humour pages as well? You do seem to have an extensive store of this stuff.

Thanks, with laughter
 

hansmoust

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john_kidder said:
Hans - is the second book intended to contain some humour pages as well? You do seem to have an extensive store of this stuff.

Hello John,

No, I don't think so. If it was all original material I would probably do it, but I can't take credit for any of these stories.
I'm more than happy to post them on these pages when I get them, but believe me, most of the stuff I get I would rather not be associated with.
Taste is the keyword here!

Cheers!

Hans
 

coastie99

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It's been a funny old week here on the Coast. Our South Island is fairly well divided down the middle by an alpine "spine". I am a courier driver here, and our parcels and packages are trucked in "from the other side", through a mountain pass.
Since our weather is currently Rat-Schitt with snow and rain playing havoc in the pass, our deliveries have been erratic, so, one day I'm doing Schitt-All, and the next day I may be Flat-Schitt busy.
On a busy day, I may get overwhelmed and Schitt-Livered, but at the end of the day I congratulate myself on doing a Schitt-Hot job.
Since our weekend weather forecast is for continuing Rat-Schitt weather, I shall knock back a few Heinekens, and probably get Schitt-Faced !
 
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