JerryR
Enlightened Member
- Joined
- May 2, 2007
- Messages
- 7,636
- Reaction score
- 616
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog .
1 . I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it or after they throw it up .
2 . I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc . , just because I like the way they smell .
3 . The litter box is not a cookie jar .
4 . The sofa is not a 'face towel' .
5 . The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff .
6 . I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet
7 . Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'
8 . I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9 . I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after
10 . I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt
11 . I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch .
12 . The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing .
P . S . Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
1 . I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it or after they throw it up .
2 . I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc . , just because I like the way they smell .
3 . The litter box is not a cookie jar .
4 . The sofa is not a 'face towel' .
5 . The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff .
6 . I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet
7 . Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'
8 . I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9 . I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after
10 . I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt
11 . I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch .
12 . The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing .
P . S . Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
