Siddartha -- don't back down, man -- it's an ethical question and one that gave me pause too!
My mom was the most ethical person I ever knew, sometimes exasperatingly so for me and my four sisters. But for her, the right thing was the only thing. Whenever I'm feeling ethically challenged, I can feel the gaze of my mom on me!
What would she have done in this situation? She would have phoned the person she talked to at eBay, informed them that the missing item arrived after all, and would have insisted on paying eBay their money back.
Which would have been fine if she'd gotten "exactly what she ordered," as per eBay's guarantee.
What I got was nothing remotely like what I ordered. What I bought (or rather Nora) was a guitar that, but for a few little dings, was supposedly in great shape, ready to play. What I got was a guitar with a dozen or more undislosed issues; completely unplayable.
If had, a la mom, called eBay and insisted on paying them back, and they'd let me, then I'd have been in the position of having to try to get the seller to take back the guitar and refund my money. It was at that point past the window of opportunity in which I was allowed to file a case; officially eBay had decided in the seller's favor. Even if eBay somehow erased all those roadblocks, I would have been left having to deal with a seller who'd already shown himself as completely dishonest -- a return and refund would have been a struggle.
And here is where I agree with eBay's decision to refund me out of pocket. They had decided in the seller's favor, thereby making it impossible for me to file a claim against the seller. I could only file a claim against eBay.
In thinking this way, perhaps I was salving whatever pangs of conscience I might have had, taking a less complicated road, motivated more by self interest than doing the right thing. If so, mea culpa, but I don't think in this instance mom would have been too ashamed of me.
Ironically, the only person who really won in this debacle was the dishonest seller who was never made accountable for their intentionally fraudulent ad and shoddy, shoddy service.
Ethical discussions are always interesting! What would you have done?
Glenn